


Mass Debate

by cherrytruck



Series: The Birkin Files [6]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: M/M, Semi-Public Sex, Umbrella chose these idiots to represent them, Virus Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9500075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrytruck/pseuds/cherrytruck
Summary: Birkin and Wesker attend an international convention to decide the fate of the last remnants of the Smallpox virus. However, there's only so much a debate can do to keep their attention.Split into two chapters for reasons - the first part is SFW (save for a pill joke), pretty gen and can work as a standalone, while the second chapter is where it gets NSFW and slashy.





	1. 9:40AM

**Author's Note:**

> lol what a mature title am I right. The funniest part of this fic besides the title is the fact that it assumes Birkin and Wesker somehow manage to be important science figures, as if they even have time for pretending to be normal people. Also have a bonus picture

Birkin and Wesker were sat down on one of the many panel of tables arranged in a large circle. They had gathered in a controversial debate on the status of retaining the last samples of Smallpox. It was an international event with many big name virologists participating, and one of the rare times where not a white labcoat was in sight among scientists. Birkin suited up well for this appearance, and his table had a sign with the words “Dr W. Birkin – Umbrella Corp, United States”, along with a miniature flag of the USA next to it. Wesker almost came to the event with his sunglasses, but Birkin begged him to come with a less shady appearance if they were to be taken seriously at this event. Wesker settled for what looked like reading glasses.

The hall was split with two sides – those for destroying Smallpox, and those who wanted to retain it. It was obvious which side Birkin was on.

“Smallpox has had a devastating effect among humans.” One of the pro-destruction persons changed the slide on the screen to show photographs of victims. Birkin remembered just how fascinating this virus was. Such a small arrangement of molecules was able to have a large scale impact on humans. No, he wasn’t experiencing joy from the suffering of humanity – these people did all eventually get cured after all, right? – it was the pure fact that the virus could accomplish so much from so little material.

“We’ve come a long way to be able to eradicate this virus, and we must ensure we never repeat these tragedies again. Retaining the virus will only give opportunities for its return, and the potential for bioterrorists to utilize it as a weapon.”

Birkin suddenly heard a whisper coming from his left. “Oh, how little they know.” It was Wesker. Birkin tried not to laugh – after all, there were hundreds of people around them.

Time for the other side to speak. It was Birkin’s turn. His opportunity had at last come. He brought his face closer to the microphone.

“I realize we do not want another outbreak, but even as we have retained the Smallpox samples, the world has been able to go for years without a single case of infection. We have learned how Smallpox spreads, and we have improved our techniques – our understanding is all that we need to prevent another outbreak.”

Many eyes were on him. Birkin started to feel a little tense as it seemed most of the room wasn’t buying what he was proposing, but he had to persevere. The precious life of the virus – and potentially his own research - depended on it.

“We still have much to learn in the field of virology; how viruses have originated, how vaccinations can improve, the therapeutic applications of viruses such as those in gene therapy, and what other secrets still lie within their molecular structure. Once we destroy this virus, we cannot ever take it back. We will lose what could be a library of knowledge in this field.”

“And is it worth the danger of another outbreak for the faint potential of this knowledge? What if one day your children are infected?” somebody from the other side said – Birkin wasn’t sure who – but really, these events were structured so that outbursts weren’t supposed to occur. In a heated event like this however, people couldn’t help it. Their nature wasn’t so different to viruses after all.

“Everything in life has risks,” Birkin responded calmly, though he found one hand fiddling on his mini-flag before he repositioned himself. “And sometimes the biggest discoveries are those found by accident. Antibiotics were discovered by toxins of fungi. Chemotherapy was another accidental finding from chemical warfare. The most used anticoagulant drug of today was discovered from rat poison.” He then smirked. “And, of course, Viagra was founded after a side effect of antihypertensives - a discovery that some of us, though not including myself, may be quite thankful for.”

The rest of the panel let out a laugh. _Yes_ , he had finally charmed them enough for them to begin seeing the credibility of his arguments.

“My point is, we’ve gained a lot of knowledge out of things by looking deeper into these things rather than taking the easy destructive route. I am aware Smallpox has a potential to be of danger, but we are doing a fine enough job of containing it. We have more threats to worry about in this world right now, and plenty of other viruses continue to take more lives than what Smallpox is currently capable of. We need to focus on those rather than a dormant virus. I would hate to see humanity lose out on so much knowledge as a result of our hasty decisions.”

His time was up, and the microphone had shut down automatically. Birkin let out a sigh of relief and relaxed his back on the seat.

“Well done,” Wesker whispered again. “You did very well. And you didn’t need my help after all.” It was true, Wesker had no real need to be here other than moral support and backup. It was more that he wanted to expand his curriculum vitae, and generally keep Birkin amused enough during the event.

“Thanks.” He took a sip of water, and then turned towards his colleague. “Now we sit and wait as more people fight and clash all because of one small virus.”


	2. 1:20PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The debate has been going on over lunch and Birkin and Wesker start becoming bored. They proceed to act inappropriately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the NSFW part - but if you're reading this then you probably already knew that!

The event was overrunning. The rumbles of stomachs were audible around the room, and shifty eyes with heavy eyelids all across the tables made it clear that this was starting to be, in fact, a rather boring event.

“My eyes hurt,” Wesker said, fiddling with his new glasses. “I am beginning to lose patience.”

“I’d normally tell you to pay attention, but I myself have also started losing interest.” Birkin had slumped on his seat by then, since everyone in the room had gone beyond caring about their presentation. “As for your eyes, maybe that’s what you get for having sunglasses on all the time.”

“Oh, please.” Wesker was still whispering, and the air going inside of Birkin's ear started to give him some tingles. "You should be grateful I agreed to drop the sunglasses for you."

Birkin chuckled. He didn't turn his head round to Wesker, but he spoke just as quietly. "It isn't for my sake. Do you realize how others are going to perceive us when you're wearing sunglasses indoors? I know Umbrella may be used to it, but we've got the eyes of the world watching and judging us in this event."

"I suppose. Though it seems as if most of these people have already gone to sleep. How are you holding up?"

Birkin held back a yawn. "I should have gone for a triple espresso for this. Maybe I should get up and pretend I need a break and sneak to the coffee machine. Or perhaps I should actually go to the restroom and beat off to try amuse myself," he joked.

"Oh?" With that, Wesker placed a hand on Birkin’s thigh under the table with suggestive motions. He wasn’t expecting Wesker to take that last part seriously.

“Albert! Really? Come on.”

“You want me to go on?” Wesker’s hand wandered up further until he was between his legs. Birkin tried to close his legs, but the tightness only pushed that hand closer to him. It actually felt quite good. Damnit.

Wesker was sneakily able to undo the belt on Birkin’s trousers and unzip just enough to slip his hand without making too much movement. Despite the minimal stimulation, the environment around him made him far too sensitive to every touch from Wesker’s fingertips.

“Mhmm…you can’t be serious about this…”

“Well you’re not making much effort for me to stop. You sound like you’re enjoying it.”

Birkin should have really told Wesker to stop – but it wasn’t like he was going to deny something actually entertaining amidst this otherwise miserable event. He just had to not make any loud noises or suspicious faces, though he could already feel his cheeks going red.

The strokes were getting faster, to the point where it became slightly audible. Birkin prayed that nobody else could hear it. It took all the energy and restraint inside of him to not moan or even gasp. He bit onto his lips, trying to look around the hall to see if something could distract him enough not to completely lose himself. The speaker was telling the audience to look at some kind of graph. Birkin had no idea what the graph was even supposed to be showing.

Then he changed his mind – getting off to looking at these strangers and their statistics wasn’t something Birkin wanted to finish off on. He turned his head towards Wesker, whose eyes he could clearly see full of satisfaction through those glasses. The look was enough to finish Birkin off, who simply couldn’t help but let out a small yet loud moan as he bent his body over the table so viciously that his fringe ended up covering his vision and his hand knocked over his mini flag from its stand. _Shit._

He couldn’t see, but he knew he drew in the gazes of the others. Thinking quick on his feet, Birkin did his best impersonation of a sneeze as he covered his mouth with his hand. Someone in front of him gave a “bless you”. The current speaker gave some kind of witty remark, something among the lines of "Let's hope he's not infected with Smallpox," and there was a faint laughter. As if it couldn't get worse for him. Then they went back to not paying attention, so he hoped at least his fake sneeze sounded legitimate enough to cover up what just happened.

Wesker had the manners to clean up with a tissue and redress Birkin, but it wasn’t enough for Birkin to not look at him with a frown. “Albert, I don’t believe it. You’re a complete disgrace.”

But Wesker knew those words didn’t come with much weight. He smiled. “Do you propose to eradicate me next?”

“Very funny.” Birkin took another sip of water from his cup.


End file.
